The Grumble, Grumble Post

Something happened today that caused me to have a panic attack, left me feeling completely vulnerable and totally pissed me off. I won't go into details, but after many hours on the phone and so much tension in my neck I thought I would pop a blood vessel, I am now unmiserable again. Point is, *I've said it once and I'll say it again* we need to move. I was all excited to do some fun Black Friday shopping, I made a list of clothes for Antz and me, some cutesy things for the house that I've had my eye on at Target and Bed, Bath & Beyond and even some new curtains for the bedroom from Urban. Well, after today's fiasco, I've gained perspective that shopping is counterproductive to us selling, or moving. I need to spend every dime in fixing this house so it can sell in the next few years. I can't put a Bandaid on a broken arm anymore. I found out last week that our right-side neighbors *the ones with 3 kids* are putting their house on the market in February. I am somewhat happy that they are selling so I use their selling advice and see how much they can get for this area. However, they bought 7 years ago and have done major renovations, so I know their house is more valuable than ours *although we have a bigger lot and better layout* I am also worried that some assholes may move in and add another reason for me to hate living here. We aren't the best of friends by any means, but they have been quite friendly and although she is a bit nosey, they have been good neighbors for the past 4 years, I will be sad to see them go.

Why is time fast forwarding ever since Liv was born? Antz and I have been together for 14 years and it feels like an eternity. Selling this house and buying a new house in 4 years seems like a feasible plan but our house could be on the market for months, even years. Every 6 months something breaks around here that costs us an arm and a leg and it's never is a problem that adds improvement/value. I would like to put money into this house that would make us comfortable and we stay here long term but this neighborhood is no longer cutting it. To sound like a broken record, I want to move...sigh!!

I am at a loss of how I can make my dream into reality. I lie awake at night trying to concoct a scheme *Lucy Ricardo style* to sell our house. I have always figured out how to get whatever I wanted. I traveled to Europe with $200. I somehow managed to sneak backstage and meet my idol, Björk. I won the Showcase Showdown on the Price is Right, I've been able to figure out a way to do just about anything I've ever wanted to and this has me stumped. We live in the most expensive city in the country and yet it's pretty shitty *high property taxes, high crime, crappy public schools, over priced housing*. How will the housing market ever get back to 2006 prices? Even if we sold at a profit *not at all likely* any house we want to buy will be priced so high we would probably end up renting until we found something in our price range. I have no idea how folks buy and sell in Los Angeles. You have to be a millionaire now-a-days just to get loan approval. Being middle class sucks!! Once Olivia starts school we will really be in trouble because tuition and extracurricular activities will be draining our finances.